


Ramblings of a self-proclaimed child soldier

by ten-ten31 (KitKaos)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Introspection, Marauders, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Teenage Parents, first wizarding war, proud daddy James
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKaos/pseuds/ten-ten31
Summary: “Mum, Dad, it’s a boy,” he said slowly. And despite everything he felt a smile tugging at his lips, guarded but nevertheless proud. Of his son, of that little life they had created and that would hopefully have a better life ahead of him.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 11





	Ramblings of a self-proclaimed child soldier

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Gedanken eines selbsterklärten Kindersoldaten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25534636) by [ten-ten31 (KitKaos)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKaos/pseuds/ten-ten31)



> So this happened while trying to write every day for NaNo 2019. Enjoy - reviews are <3

“Mum, Dad, it’s a boy,” he said slowly. And despite everything he felt a smile tugging at his lips, guarded but nevertheless proud. Of his son, of that little life they had created and that would hopefully have a better life ahead of him.

Not that James had planned to father a child like this. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest. He loved Lily with every fiber of his being, and he already loved Harry just as much.

But in the middle of a war? Child soldiers, that’s probably what they were – all of them. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily and him. In a war for what they believed should be self-evident but seemingly wasn’t. Every single day, they would read about this or that official in the news, telling reporters that they definitely weren’t on those terrorists’ side, but… And what followed usually was basically exactly the terrorists’ side, albeit told in posh words instead of actions.

And those terrorist actions were progressively getting worse. There were so many rumours about imperioused witches and wizards, although James mused that simple blackmailing would be easier and in many cases just as effective. If you had enough people in the Ministry and the Wizengamot that would condemn your methods but quietly share your narrow worldview, where was the difference to an all-out civil war?

Although he knew that his thoughts were traipsing a very thin and dangerous line, since the Order was basically operating under the same premises. Dumbledore had enough allies in high places that wanted to do something but seemingly couldn’t. So instead they, the Order of the Phoenix, were the last line of defense for a progressive and open wizardkind. They actively fought the Death Eaters, tried to uproot their support systems and make them face justice for their crimes.

Now that he was a father, James wished for more peaceful times, curious what that would be like and impatient for those times to come. As for him, here, now, he had hardly known a world without this war. He didn’t have a regular job or a regular life – he had basically joined the cause right out of school.

James was 20 years old now and thought of himself as adult, but he had matured a lot since leaving the safe confines of Hogwarts. He had been such a dumb child back then. They all had been.

His parents did approve of his life choices of course – fighting for the rights of all of wizardkind was a noble cause after all. But they would always ask him if he couldn’t do that without risking life and limb so much. “I get it now,” he whispered. He wouldn’t want to lose Harry to a war – or for Harry to grow up without a family, even though he would gladly give his life for his family if need be.

Euphemia and Fleamont Potter would never meet their grandson; they had died of dragon pox just a few months earlier. But James knew they could be proud of their little family.

As he was standing in front of their graves, the earth still looking dark and moist, not settled over their caskets yet, he was glad that they at least had had a chance to meet Lily. Of course they had instantly fallen in love with her charm, her wit, her intelligence and her laugh. They had even danced a slow dance at James and Lily’s wedding. That had been the last time they had left the house…

But at least that. It broke James’ heart every time he thought about Lily’s parents having died even before her graduation. The only family he had met of hers was that shallow cow of a sister, Petunia, and her then-fiancé, who was equally shallow and more of a walrus than a man, really. James would never forgive them for uninviting Lily from their wedding.

When the two of them, Lily and James, had got married, he knew Lily would have loved to have Petunia there. Of course the Dursleys hadn’t come.

All in all, the wedding had been a very small affair. Just their closest friends and family (the latter of which meant James’ parents and Sirius), but a lot of laughter, good food and drink, music and dancing into the early hours of the morning. It had been the happiest day in James’ life, and judging from her free and easy laughter, Lily’s as well.

Which did mean a lot after the marriage proposal had been a bit… forced was probably the right word.

They had been going steady for the better part of two years at that point, but they were fighting a war they didn’t even know they would survive. It was no time for things like getting married or starting a family. Yet both of those things happened.

When James returned limping to their hideout from one rather bloody mission, an angry gash over his abdomen and blood trickling from a cut on his forehead into his eye, she was suddenly in tears. What if one of those days he wouldn’t come back from a mission? What if she was badly injured or captured on a mission? What would they tell their child?

What about it, he had asked. They had both known, going in, that those were very real possibilities. And they had accepted the risk in order to do good. Nothing had changed since then, had it?

And that was when Lily told him that his contraceptive spell hadn’t worked and that she was pregnant.

James had stilled. The healer was still tending to his wounds, which stung a lot, but James hardly even noticed anything outside of Lily’s verdant eyes on him. He knew his parents had raised a better man than that, but the first thing he did was to ask her if she was absolutely sure of that.

Of course Lily had been sure. Lily Evans was always right; a lesson James had learned early on but still needed to be reminded of from time to time.

He had done what he had deemed noble at that moment. The right thing to do. He had asked her to marry him – not very romantic, admittedly. And he had promised Lily a more romantic proposal – and made good on that promise a few times over the following weeks, too. She had said yes every time, which still amazed James to this day.

Out of that chaos had grown an even stronger love and trust between James and Lily. And, eventually, their beautiful newborn son Harry.

A sad smile graced James’ lips. “I know you would have spoilt him rotten.” He would have to compensate for that, would have to teach Harry about his wonderful grandmother Euphemia and grandfather Fleamont.

“We’ll bring him by some time. When it’s quieter,” he vowed, eyes on the names of his parents, blinking away stray tears.

Then he pulled his invisibility cloak tighter around him, looking around. He would need to get back to his family.


End file.
